All it had taken was one wink, and I had willingly danced into the intriguing world beyond. Everywhere bright lights, magic and mystery; my old world quickly forgotten in the face of this shiny, enchanting one.
A stranger I might have been, and yet everyone had warmly invited me to play my part in the spectacle, as though I had always been there.
And maybe I had.
After all, I have worn many faces since it all began.
It was one particularly normal day, and I was on my way home, taking my steps in a repetitive rhythm of malcontent. Everything was oppressively damp and grey, and my attention was caught by a mesmerising shimmering in the corner of my eye, dancing like a frosted summer breeze.
I turned to follow, and found myself embarking on a spontaneous trail in the gloom; compelled towards these diamonds in the dark.
My mind was taken over, and I didn’t care to take it back, as I journeyed on and became one of their own.
I swallowed the medicine they gave me with pleasure; a sweet nectar which opened my eyes to how sick I truly was.
I came upon a pale tent, and saw lights and lawlessness peeking through, beckoning me on. A presence pushed past me. That was when it happened, and everything became clear.
I accepted her dare, and allowed myself to be carried in, never again to step out.
I gave myself over, body and soul, to the circus. I would leave all behind, and take on my new identity.
What does it matter of the lost memories and missing hours? I have chosen.
You ask me why did I bind myself to it all?
I can think of only one reason I was lost.
‘She winked at me.’
© Esther Lamin