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Bench Mark by  Jennifer Patsalidou

29/3/2021

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Defeat, it’s there hovering, waiting to join them. That’s how it always feels in her presence.
She doesn’t want to be here, sat there like she’s in the doctor's office, waiting for bad news.
They need to talk about their son but she’s twitchy, her new husband in the car park, and he imagines the impatient drumming of a business man’s hands on the leather steering wheel, a smell of lemon from the freshly valeted interior.
He looks down the hill and remembers jogging up here last week, past the prone figure on this very bench.
It’s what’s left from his recovery, the ability to run miles and miles with the steady beat that keeps him focused, waiting for the hormonal burst of wellness to pop in his brain, feel good endorphins released as his lungs open up.
He enjoys the feeling of running away, from his army days, the youthful enthusiasm exchanged for survivors guilt, the drink. 
Army training was brutal but still didn’t prepare him for roadside bombs and body bags. And after..sold his soul to the oil companies based in the Middle East, ignored the politics of it and spent his money on becoming an alcoholic.
He barely remembers his son being born but remembers meeting the stranger sat next to him, loving her instantly. Failed the three of them.
The last he knew, their son was studying sport science but that’s not the skin and bones of the young man he found on this bench last week, long legs curled up protectively, wrapped up in several layers of unclean.
He learns the story now, an emergency meeting organised by the salesman in the car park.
Their son’s addiction to prescription painkillers after a sports injury. A busy doctor telling him no more pain killers, that a student studying sport science should be able to sort the problem. So he did, he found an online source of the drug, smoked more weed to wean himself off the painkiller. He failed his exams, couldn’t get a job, had been sofa surfing since his mum kicked him out for maxing her credit card and stealing her jewellery. 
The man waiting in the car believes in tough love.
 The man sitting next to her has listened silently to the story of their son, different to his but familiar in essence, the concrete slab of his heart breaking into tiny pieces. 
The boy has not failed, he has failed his son and will now step up and do all he can to set things right.
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    Issue 8 & 9

    January 2021
    February 2021



    The Stories

    All
    A Blanket Of Stars By Georgia Cook
    A Chance By Liz Breen
    A Close Shave By Cindy Pereira
    A Compromise By Caitlin Magnall-Kearns
    A Drink After Work By Graham Crisp
    A Furtive Conversation By Sammi McSporran
    A Letter By Joe Bedford
    A Moment Of Introspection By Madelaine Taylor
    An Easy Mistake By Rachel Smith
    An Unfortunate Incident By Hilary Taylor
    Author Author! By Andrew Ball
    Bat Chat By Elaine Peters
    Bat Woman By Niall McKenna
    Beads Of Gold By Eva Bell
    Bearly Dry By Madelaine Taylor
    Bell Bottoms And Beer By Cindy Pereira
    Bench Mark By Jennifer Patsalidou
    Bride To Be By R.T. Hardwick
    Carnaby St Boutique By Steve Goodlad
    Caroline And Steven By Graham Crisp
    Cash Or Claret By Colin Ward
    Caught In The Act By Hilary Taylor
    Chance Encounter By Jeff Jones
    Change Matters By C.R. Berry
    Command By Ian Tew
    Crocodile Tears By Felicity Edwards
    Crossed Wires By Jeff Jones
    Ding Dong Dung By Cindy Pereira
    Dreaming Of You By Steve Goodlad
    Friederike By Mark Harbinger
    Global Architects By Rachel Smith
    Happy To Chat By Elaine Peters
    Holiday Of A Lifetime By Elaine Peters
    Horror Scope By Cindy Pereira
    Hotel Kasbah By Beverley Byrne
    Hunger By Caitlin Magnall-Kearns
    Lend Us A Tenner By Graham Crisp
    Love And Sparkles By Hilary Taylor
    Mistaken Identity By Madelaine Taylor
    Molly-Dolly’s New Clothes By Elaine Peters
    Mountain By Soren Petrek
    Mr. Patel’s Shop By Graham Crisp
    Out On The Town By Caitlin M Kearns
    Peter By R.T. Hardwick
    Plenty By Miriam H Harrison
    Pocket Money By Felicity Edwards
    Raisins And Rum By Cindy Pereira
    Reality
    Room 12 By Graham Crisp
    She Thinks I'm Stupid By Steve Goodlad
    Siesta By Elaine Peters
    Taking The Floor By Claire Barnard
    Tangle By Miriam H. Harrison
    Teacher By Madelaine Taylor
    The Book Of Revelations By R.T. Hardwick
    The Choice By Hilary Taylor
    The Death Of An Actor By Steve Goodlad
    The Ending By Liz Breen
    The Incidentals Table By Liz Breen
    The Inheritance By Graham Crisp
    The Neighbour By Lynne Couzins
    The New Guy By Felicity Edwards
    The Oasis By Tanvi Nagar
    The Present By Peter Hankins
    There Once By Miriam H. Harrison
    The Rescue By Hilary Taylor
    The Returners By Liz Breen
    The Stone By Felicity Edwards
    The Surprise By Jeff Jones
    Tough Cookie By Liz Breen
    Waiting Words By Madelaine Taylor
    Weakender By JP Seabright
    Werewolves By Jessica Brown
    What A Concept By Bud Scott
    When To Err Is Not Human By Dipayan Chakrabarti


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Secret Attic - Founded March 2020